I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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