if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've blown a few things in my day
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
