Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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