I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
