How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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