Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
