I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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