I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
