I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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