Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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