Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
