47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
