maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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