That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
