i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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