Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
