So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They are going to name an STD after you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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