there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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