He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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