She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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