But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
