I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
