I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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