This is not my ceiling
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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