Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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