You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
