So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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