I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
