So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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