Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
