Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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