Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
