Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
