i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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