Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
