I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
