Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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