I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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