how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
