im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
