How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
