too bad you live with your parents still
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is Oprah even human
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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