hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
