I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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