What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
