chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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