matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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