I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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