so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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