What did we do last night that was yellow?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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