hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize