you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Randomize