this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
