Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
