Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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