ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
