im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
