You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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